


What About Us?

by liquidheartbeats



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 01:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9359801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidheartbeats/pseuds/liquidheartbeats
Summary: Iris has spent the last year adjusting to her life with Eddie, her soon-to-be husband, away from Central City, in Matherville. She loves hin dearly, but she also misses her old life in central city--her job,  her family, Joe, and Wally--Barry Allen. As the wedding nears closer, it becomes harder for Iris to convince herself that marrying Eddie is the right decision.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE leave me comments. LOL. I need them like I need oxygen.

The vaulted ceilings of the Excursion Hotel ballroom were adorned with pink and gold chandeliers. On the large circular tables--in lieu of flowers sat grand crystal centerpieces illuminated from the inside. There were ten tables in all. Just enough room for eighty or so guests: Eddie and Iris’ close friends, varying degrees of family members, and colleagues old and new--arranged in a circle around the room. At the center of the room sat the Thawne-West table, where Iris, Eddie and their immediate family members--dressed in their best ornate dresses, tuxedos and evening wear-- were seated. 

If she was being honest, it was all a little highbrow for her taste. But renting out the most upscale hotel in town had been a gift from Eddie’s parents that didn’t exactly seem possible to turn down.   
“Only the best for my son.” Iris mocked the woman’s condescending tone in her head, as she replayed the events of the week before. 

Eddie Thawne stood, and cleared his throat. When everyone’s eyes were on him, he raised his glass before the sea of his and Iris’s friends, family and colleagues. “I know it’s not customary for the groom to speak at the rehearsal dinner, but I'd—We’d like to thank you all for coming.” 

His gaze, full of love, of pride, shifted downward to Iris, still seated next to him. In return, Iris forced a bright smile at him, like the fiance he deserved.

“As many of you know, this last year has been difficult—,” Eddie continued. “between my accident, and relocating here for my new job, but this beautiful woman who, one week from now, I will finally be able to call my wife, has stood by me through every ordeal. She gave me strength when I couldn’t find it for myself and the courage to keep moving forward on some of my darkest days. She’s my rock, my reason for living and the reason I’m still here.”

A collective “Awwwwwww,” filled the room.

By the time Eddie finished his speech, Iris was on the verge of tears. She knew that Eddie was being sincere. He thought the world of her and showed her every chance he got, even when she didn’t deserve it. But more than that, she wanted so much to believe that Eddie was the key to her happiness and that she was making the right decision by marrying him, by building a life with him. It had been hard for her to tear herself away from her family to follow Eddie to Matherville, but when he got offered the job with the Matherville Police Department, Eddie had his heart set on it. 

According to him, MVPD would allow him advancement in a way that CCPD just couldn’t. That may have been true, but from the way she’d seen her dad grimace with the words, “one week from now,” Iris was sure Eddie had left to avoid the awkwardness between him and his former partner and future Father-In-Law.

The tension between Joe and Eddie had reached its apex over the past year and Joe’s disdain for Eddie was starting to inhibit their ability to be partners. Joe West never did hide how he felt about Eddie dating his daughter, and he never failed to let Iris know that he thought she was settling for Eddie out of guilt.

18 months earlier, Eddie shot himself in the groin--eliminating his ability to procreate-- to save her from Reverse Flash’s wrath. Since Eddie was his descendant, the act permanently erased him from existence and saved countless people in the process.

Eddie almost bled to death, but the doctors at Central City Hospital really came through for him. They had been able to stop the bleeding, reconstruct his penis, and after a few excruciatingly painful surgeries, get it functioning again.

Things were a little different now. Sex was…definitely a lot different. It took a little longer for Eddie to get aroused and more effort on her part to keep him that way. Their intimate moments, once fiery displays of their love for each other, had been reduced to a laborious chore in which Iris had to feign pleasure, long after her body had built and released her need, leaving her taxed physically and emotionally. God knows she’d never bring that up, though. There was no way in Hell Eddie didn’t notice, but if he wasn’t going to mention it, neither was she. He’d been through enough pain and embarrassment over the last year and she didn’t want to add to it.

One thing the doctors couldn’t salvage on any level was Eddie’s ability to procreate. They’d both seen Reverse Flash disintegrate right before their eyes which meant that Eobard, along with any of Eddie’s other descendants had been permanently erased from the timeline. So, when the doctor returned with the news that Eddie had 0% chance of ever having kids, he looked bemused that their sorrow hadn’t been displayed more outwardly.

That’s the thing about bad news. It hurts worse when it’s unexpected, less when you’re prepared for it. Over time, days, months and sometimes years, news that would have sent you crashing to the floor, begging God for mercy, induces a mere sigh, a caught breath, a temporary sting that leaves just as quick as it came. But the most severe, earth shattering pain comes in flashbacks, during random moments of happiness. It came long after you’ve pushed the memory deep down into your consciousness. 

Iris took a big swig of her wine to wash away the thought of her childless future. The fact of the matter was that Eddie Thawne would never have any kids. Not biologically. Neither would Iris. Not with Eddie.

Eddie noticed the worried expression on her face. “You okay, baby?”

“She’s thinking about what a total sap her hubby to be is, right Iris?” Eddie’s oldest brother, Chris burst into laughter, which prompted laughter from the entire table. Eddie faked a smile. But by the way his jaw was clenched, Iris could tell that he was annoyed. She took his hand under the table to soothe him.

When Iris and Eddie lived in Central city, she’d always found it odd that he didn’t talk much about his family. Eddie’s profession as a cop was small potatoes compared to most of his family. There were not the billionaire tech giants that Eobard claimed would carry on the Thawne name–those Thawnes hadn’t been born yet apparently, but it was evident that the Thawne name was destined for greatness. 

All of them constantly took jabs at Eddie about his accident. Of course, they didn’t know the whole story. It’s not like Iris could’ve told the truth about what had been going on with Eobard Thawne.

Instead, Iris had told his family that Eddie’s gun had accidentally gone off one day. Initially, the thought of Eddie being shot sent genuine concern through them, but then came the jokes.

“Wait-wait, How does a cop shoot himself in the penis?” Chris had quipped. “I mean, I heard that my brother was a lousy shot, but I didn’t think he’d turn the gun on himself.” 

Iris couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to joke about Eddie in the waiting room of the hospital, while he was being operated on. When he started to roll around on the floor, cackling and clutching his chest, she almost lost it. 

Eddie nearly died a noble, honorable death, but all he’d been reduced to was a schlub who’d shot himself in the penis with his own gun. As the memories from the day surfaces, Iris rested in the fact that she’d opted to forgo the big expensive wedding that Eddie had wanted.

She’d be damned if they were going to spend thousands of dollars on food and decor just for his family to pick apart every single detail and whisper amongst themselves, while they smiled in her face. Thankfully, after a lot of coercion, she finally convinced Eddie to just get married at the courthouse.

This “rehearsal dinner” that seemed to drag on forever, was just so that their families and friends could be included. Most of them anyway.

“I think I’m getting a stomach ache. I’ll be back.” Iris quietly excused herself from the table and headed for the bathroom. 

She wanted, more than anything, to adjust to Matherville and this life with Eddie, but it just wasn’t Central City. She missed her family—Joe and Wally—desperately. They were only an hour away, but she felt like she was homesick, missing out pivotal moments in her family’s lives. Joe and Cecile had finally moved in together. Wally was almost finished with undergrad and had finally moved on from Jessie to a nice, local girl. Like most college aged men, he didn’t like to talk about his relationship with his big sister, but she could tell that they were serious from his Facebook statuses.

‘I didn’t even get to grill her. That’s every big sister’s rite of passage.’  
Iris quickly pushed the thought aside. ‘Iris, you’re in a transition period, you’ll adjust. For now, focus on the positive,’ she said aloud to her reflection in the mirror, as if her spoken words could overwrite her thoughts.

“You know…those totally don't sound like the words of a woman about to marry the love of her life.”

Iris jumped at the intrusion of her private moment. When she turned, she saw her friend and former co-worker, Linda Park standing in the doorway of the bathroom. "Linda! I didn’t think you were going to make it!”

Iris walked over immediately and pulled Linda into a bear hug. Because of their hectic schedules, they didn’t get to hang out nearly as much as they’d liked, but their distance had actually made them closer. They kept in near constant communication, via text and Linda had become Iris’s closest confidant.

“Yeah, well, I just barely did; the traffic here is worse than Central City’s.”

“Sooo, how are you Iris? Really. And don’t forget I walked in on your little affirmation.”

“I’m doing good, Linda.” Iris lied. “ Just a little nervous about the wedding is all.”

Linda turned her back to the counter and hoisted herself up onto it, allowing her feet to dangle over the edge. “You know, it looked like a little more than nerves to me.”

Iris silently willed Linda to drop the subject with her eyes. In an act of defiance, Linda crossed her arms and shifted her weight from her left foot to her right.

Iris sighed. “Lindal, I’m just having a few wedding jitters, but what bride doesn’t?” 

“Jitters or doubts? Iris, I don’t judge. Hell, I can’t judge—but–”.

“Linda. Can you drop this? Please.”

“Fine, Iris.” Linda scooted back off of the counter and turned to admire her reflection in the bathroom mirror. “But, I know you, I’m your best friend. Well—actually I’m your second best friend. Your best friend isn’t here on the biggest day of your life. Why do you think that is?” 

Linda opened up her sequined clutch and pulled out a tube of ruby red lipstick. “Speaking of your BFF, I saw him today.” 

Sh carefully applied a fresh coat of the matte lipstick. 

“Really?! Where?”

“Picture News. He took down a meta–a fire breather, who didn’t like the write-up we did on his brother. Considering the fact that he burned a house full of nuns alive, I think it was pretty tame. But you know.”

“Linda,“ Iris beckoned, “Can you get on with it?”

“Oh. Anyway, the lunatic was about to torch the place but Flash showed up in the knick of time. I mean, I know he’s fast and all, but he had to have already been nearby because I was barely able to pull the emergency alarm that the little short dude, ummm, what’s his name?”

“Cisco.”

“Cisco! Right! I barely got my fingers on the alarm that Cisco had installed before he arrived.”

“Well, that’s good. Did anybody get hurt?”

“Nope, Flash sped in, did his little arm-twirly move, extinguished the bastard and hauled him off to CCPD.”

“Did you get to speak to him?” Iris asked, a little too eagerly. “Did he seem happy?” 

“No, I mean of course we tried to get a quote from him but he was in and out, in a well…..Flash.” Linda quietly chuckled at her unintended pun. “He doesn’t really chit-chat anymore. Just does his job and gets out.”

Iris faced dropped at the thought of Barry not being happy. Even, if they weren’t in each other’s lives anymore, she wanted him to stay happy. “Well, he’s busy, I’m sure,” she said, reassuringly. 

“I’m sure he has been” Linda smirked. 

“But the million dollar question is:Have you been busy too?” she added. “Because I know that both of your schedules were packed not too long ago.”

“My schedule has been clear for months, Linda.” Iris shot back, not appreciating the turn the conversation had taken.

“Really? Hmm…I seem to remember when I was at CCPD trying to get a quote about that college basketball star who got arrested for buying drugs, there was this beautiful woman with slightly tousled hair, sneaking out of a certain someone’s lab.”

The panicked bride fell to her knees to inspect underneath each of the eight the bathroom stalls. 

“Linda, keep your voice down!” 

When she saw no signs of life, she pushed open each door just to be absolutely sure that no one had overheard her friend. Satisfied, Iris turned to Linda again and took in a deep breath.

“You saw me? And didn’t say anything?” she said in a hushed yell.

“Oh, so you’re done pretending. Great. Yes, I saw you. I would have said hello. But, you didn’t look like you wanted to be seen. Oh, not to mention, I was told that part of your life was over...and if you don’t want to share that part of your life with me, I’m going to respect your boundaries.

“Even if it’s BS,” she added. “I tell you ever scandalous detail of my life, but you don’t trust me with your indiscretions.”

“Linda, you know you’re my closest girlfriend and you know that I trust you. But the thing is, you’re proud of what you’re doing. Not that you shouldn’t be, but we’re different people. I’m not proud of it.”

“Still, you broke the girl code. You tell your friends these things, honey. If you are going to live recklessly, then you need someone with more experience than you to help guide you. This has been going on for how long? And you showed up at his job? That’s a rookie mistake, babe.” 

Linda resumed admiring her reflection in the mirror, shifting her boobs in her dark black wrap dress and tousling her hair. “You need me.”

“Well, that may be true, but we-that...is done.” The words came out with much less conviction than Iris had intended. “Has been for weeks.” Iris added to sound more convincing. For whose sake, she wasn’t sure.

“Weeks,” Linda repeated with added derision.“Honey, weeks is the amount of time it takes for that jackass quarterback, Tommy Green to respond to my interview requests. Weeks is how long it took me to lose about five pounds so that I could fit into this dress. You don’t get over your soulmate in a few weeks, and you definitely don’t get married weeks after you break things off with another man. “

Soulmate. Iris stared blankly and didn’t realize that she’d repeated the word aloud. “Barry isn’t my soulmate, Linda.”

Linda cocked her head to the side. “Oh, come on Iris. Barry Allen worships the ground that you walk on. From the first time I met him, it was evident that someone had taken stock in his heart and mind. I didn’t know that to be you, at first, but when I saw you two together, it made perfect sense. You’re perfect for each other but you too incredibly dense fools wouldn’t know how to be happy to save your life. I understand Barry, to an extent. His entire life has been tragic--the boy is allergic to happiness. But you, you’re ruining your life just for the hell of it.” 

“Barry Allen...is--was my best friend. My best friend who I got carried away with for a few months. Even if I wanted to be with him--which I don’t, it would never work.” 

“ Please. You love him. He adores you. He’s one of the five men under thirty who actually WANTS to commit. What is stopping you!?”

“Eddie,” Iris said matter of factly. “Eddie, this real person, with real feelings is stopping me. My love for him is stopping me, Linda. I can’t hurt him, not after what he did for me. I’m going to marry him, love him, honor him and be a great wife to him.”

Linda started to speak, then paused, like she was contemplating the most careful arrangement of her words. Iris prepared herself for the word vomit that was coming, but silently thanked the heavens that Linda was at least trying to be considerate. 

“Can you really be that great of a wife to Eddie, if you’re sleeping with Barry Allen? If a large chunk of your heart belongs to another man?”

Guilt spread across her face. Iris thought that if she avoided saying it aloud, or if she didn’t say his name, it would make this easier. Linda was right. For the better part of a year, she had been carrying on an affair with Barry. If it was just sex, she probably wouldn’t have felt as guilty, but she’d fallen head over heels in love with him, and her feelings for him only grew more each day.

“I’m not sleeping with him anymore, as I said, Linda. And I won’t be going forward. I’m going to marry, Eddie. End of discussion.”

Linda sighed. She hoped that she would be able to get through to her friend. Anyone with eyes could see that her heart ached for Barry Allen, but at the end of the day, she couldn’t force her hand. It would have to be her choice. 

“I’m here to support whatever you decide.” She just hoped that Iris wouldn’t be too late.


	2. Chapter 2, PART ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TWO MONTHS after Iris Moved to Matherville. TEN MONTHS before Iris and Eddie's wedding. Eddie has mostly recovered from his "accident," and the newly engaged couple are trying to adjust to their new life in Matherville. Meanwhile, Barry Allen is adjusting to a life without Iris back in Central City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So, I know that it took me FOREVER to update, but it's finally here. Thanks so much for you patience.
> 
> This is Chapter 2, PART ONE. The chapter was way too long, so I had to split it in half. Part two of Chapter 2 is coming soon. 
> 
> PLEASE let me know what you think.

Barry Allen sped into Joe’s house and flopped onto the couch. He ripped off his cowl, and let out a long, exasperated sigh. He could have gone home to his own apartment, but he wasn’t in the mood to be alone. 

Joe, who was seated on the other end, stared blankly at the newspaper that had been torn from his hands, by the blast of air.

No, I wasn’t reading that Barry,” he said, tone dry as the cold, Central City air.

“Sorry, Joe.” In a flash, Barry retrieved the paper from across the room, unwrinkled it, and had it back in Joe’s hands.  “Rough day.”

Barry flopped back onto the couch, and rested his head across the back.

Joe placed a thoughtful hand on his shoulder. 

“This about Iris?”

“It’s only been two months, Joe. It feels like two years.”

“Then call her, Barry. Or, better yet, go see her. 100 miles ain’t nothing for a speedster. “

"You know that I can’t do that, Joe.”

“No, I know that you don’t _want_ to do that. Iris has tried to keep the lines of communication open, but you won’t meet her halfway. “

Barry sat up and scooted to the edge of the couch. “It’s complicated.

Joe let out a hearty chuckle. “Complicated.”

“What could possibly be funny?”

“It’s been two months, and the most I can get from either of you is ‘complicated.’

“And since won’t tell me what happened, I’ve formulated my own theories about it,” Joe added.

Barry let out a nervous laugh. “Joe, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but-”

“No buts. Y’all are grown. If you want to throw away a nearly 20 year friendship over God knows what, then that’s on y’all.”

“Anyway,” Joe added, as he rose from the couch..“It’s time to go.”

“Where you going?”

“We’re going out to dinner,” Joe stated, matter of factly.

“Now, Joe, I’m not in the mood.

“Barry, I will not let you rot away on this couch.

“You have ten minutes to get yourself together,” Joe added, as he headed for the door.

Barry’s gaze followed Joe across the room. When he tried to speak, Joe shot him a look that let him know he’d may as well drop it.

“Fine,” Barry said begrudgingly. “What should I wear?”

“You have like three shirts, Barry. Pick one. Then get your butt in the car.”

* * *

 

Iris trudged into new the home house and threw her bag and coat onto the couch, kicked off her nude pumps, and made a beeline for her the kitchen. She'd just spent the past six hours meeting with the source for her expose on child trafficking. 

As a journalist, she knew that she was supposed to leave her emotions at the door, but she was only human. After listening to every detail of Alice's hellish upbringing, she needed something to sooth the fire burning in her chest heart.

She scanned the liquor on their counter, then settled on for the bottle of red wine Eddie had gotten as a gift from his going away party from CCPD. It hadn’t been touched since their move. Eddie wasn’t much of a drinker, and wine wasn’t really Iris’ drink of choice, but it would do the trick.

Iris popped the cork of her wine and poured herself a glass. She settled onto a bar stool and took a long sip, then plugged in her cell phone in and began perusing her social media. If she was going to fully relax, she needed something mind-numbingly unproductive.

Iris grimaced when she pulled up her official Twitter page. She really needed to do a better job at keeping her public profiles updated., especially since she was the new kid on the block at the Matherville City Times. Her last Tweet had been well over two days ago--the equivalent of a month for a journalist.

After a few carefully curated RT retweets that made it seem like she gave a damn about her co-worker's articles, Iris switched over to her personal account to do a little cyber stalking.

She only followed about a couple hundred people on her personal account; her family, friends, and a few of her favorite celebs. She scrolled down her feed , trying to get a peek into what they'd been up to. Moving two hours out of Central City to Matherville had caused her to fall out of the loop with the people she held dear to her heart so social media was her way to stay connected. 

As she scrolled, she came across a Tweet from her good friend and former co-worker, Linda Park.

**Linda Park @LindaPark: fun night out with these dweebs.**

The caption followed a photo of Linda and some of her Picture News co-workers out at for karaoke night.

She couldn't help but feel a little twinge of jealousy. After grueling work days, Iris. Linda and some of the others would go and sing their hearts out at Bellini's, then talk shit about Linda's boy toys. It was their way to wind down and have a little fun. She hadn't been able to do that since she'd moved moving.  

_That's what happens when you move away from your friends,"_ she thought as she kept scrolling. Her brother, Wally West had simply posted a broken heart emoji followed by lyrics to an Ed Sheeran song.

**@WWest: “I messed up this time/Late last night/Drinking to suppress devotion/With fingers intertwined /I can’t shake this feeling now/We’re going through the motions/ Hoping you'd stop”**

_“What girl has broken baby bro’s heart now?”_

 

_ Rhonda? No, she moved away. Must be Jessica. Or Gabrielle. _

 

Iris shook her head and kept scrolling. She couldn’t keep up with Wally’s relationship drama if she tried.

When she got to the “you might know” section, she paused.

 

**"Barry Allen.”**

 

Iris took in a small breath at the sight of her former friend. In the 10 years since Twitter had been around, Barry never showed any interest in it. Yet, there was his profile, created one month prior. Intrigued and if she was being honest, a little eager to see what he’d been up to, Iris clicked on his name to see his profile. His bio read:

**“CSI for the Central City Police Department. Not sure what else to list here. Oh, wait. I have a science joke! A Neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink. He says, "For you, no charge!"**

She chuckled at Barry's description. "So cheesy." He didn’t have many Tweets.  Most of his feed consisted of RT retweeting science news and health articles. The few original Tweets were about Cisco and, Caitlin, and his job.

Iris kept scrolling until she got to his very first Tweet.  It simply read: “one month today.” She put her hand her mouth, as she silently calculated the date. One month to the day she'd moved to Matherville.

She shook the thought away as quickly as it came. She had no reason to think that Barry missed her or was keeping track of the days since she’d moved. He’d made no effort to say goodbye, and hadn't returned any of her phone calls in the last two months. Iris raised her glass for another sip when the sound of jingling keys in the door tore her away from her thoughts.

When she whipped around, Eddie was standing in the doorway of their home. He was holding trays of...something. Iris wasn't sure, but she could tell it was food of some kind. Iris hopped off of the stool and waltzed over to her fiance.

“Hey Baby. ”

“Hey, Iris.”

She kissed his cheek lifted two bags out of his grasp. The scent of fresh Italian herbs overwhelmed her senses, and she couldn't help but take a peek.

Mhhhh...Is this garlic bread, from that Italian place I love?"

"Yep.”

“Eddie! You know that’s my guilty pleasure.”

“That’s not even the best part;  I've also got some chicken parmesan!"

"Great. With the day I’ve had, I did _not_ feel like cooking."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Later, baby-- please "

Iris removed the plastic lid to sneak a peek at of the chicken parmesan. Crispy, fried chicken breasts, topped with marinara sauce and ooey-gooey mozzarella cheese.

"Ohhhhh, I'm gonna gain five pounds just by looking at this!."

When Eddie rid his arms of the remaining packages, he wrapped his arms around Iris from behind and pretended to measure her waist,  before smoothing slowly over down her hips. 

"Iris, your body is perfect, would be perfect even if gained 50 pounds!"

Iris rolled her eyes, at his exaggeration, but settled back into Eddie's arms and rested her head on his chest. After the day she'd had, hot, ready-made food and compliments from her man were just what the doctor ordered. He swept her long dark locks to the side, to nuzzle her neck, when she suddenly twisted out of his grip to face him. She cupped Eddie’s cheeks and pressed a tender kiss to his lips.

“You’re so sweet, Eddie.”

“It’s true. Besides, chicken parm is your favorite meal.”

"It sure is, but it doesn't hold a candle to you."

"I love you, Iris.

"I love you more, -and now, " she trailed her hands down to Eddie's stomach. "Now, I'm ready to eat."

Eddie looked down at his watch. 5:58 pm.  

"Um, actually. It'll be another minute or so. Why don't you go take a seat and I'll get everything set up?"

Iris moved away from Eddie and took a seat at their island.  "Hot food and free service what did I do to deserve this?"

Before his accident, he surprised her all of the time. Bringing her fresh flowers. Having dinner ready on days he managed to get off before her. Sometimes, when he couldn't, he'd order food from her favorite restaurant and have it delivered.

But for the last few months, she’d been resigned to being his caretaker. Eddie did his best but, the physical and emotional trauma that of being shot in the penis caused required much of her attention. Aside from the physical pain, not being able to perform in bed crushed his ego. And Iris had been left to pick up the pieces. She was happy to see that he was finally starting to act like the man she fell in love with.

Eddie smiled. "Well, you’ve done so much for me over the past few months, I thought it was time I did something to show you how much--."  

**_Knock. Knock. Knock._ **

Eddie looked down at his watch once more: _6:00._

"Right on time," he said to himself. "Would you mind seeing who's at the door, baby?"

"Sure." 

Iris made her way to the door. She had no idea who would be stopping by that late in the evening. She had yet to make any friends in Matherville. Her personal life had been in shambles for months, and taking care of Eddie hadn't left her much time for socializing.  Besides, no one would ever be able to replace Barry, so what was the point?

When Iris got to the door, she stood on her tiptoes to reach the peephole and squealed at the sight of her father, Joe West. She pulled the door open and threw herself into her his arms.

"Dad! What are you doing here"

"Eddie....invited me, baby." Joe leaned down to kiss her cheek, careful to not drop the cake he'd picked up on the way there.

Even though they did the FaceTime thing a couple of times a week, Iris hadn't seen her father in nearly a full month. It wasn’t an easy trek from MV to Central City.

Iris turned to Eddie, who had moved from the kitchen into the living room. "Eddie...thank you honey!" She peppered his face with an onslaught of kisses."This means so much to me."

"Anything for you...Barry. Wow, Barry!" Eddie's attention had turned towards the tall lanky man standing in his doorway, who’d been lagging behind Joe.  "I-um, hi! I guess."

"Barry?"  Iris slowly spun around, not sure if she could trust her ears.

When their eyes, she lunged forward and latched onto his shoulders out of impulse, with one hand, while a trembling hand covered her mouth. She had to make sure that she wasn't hallucinating. He was really there, standing in front of her.

"Hey--Iris." He smiled. It reeked of sadness, of relief, of excitement all at once. “It’s so good to see you.”

Iris released his shoulders and threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight.

“Barry-” Her voice came out in a whisper, for his ears alone."It's so good to see you."

She tried to choke back the tears welling up in her eyes, but it was no use. Eddie stood behind Iris, staring at them blankly.

"Hey--Eddie," he stepped away from Iris and ran a shaky hand through this hair. " I hope you don't mind me coming. Joe, invited me."

"I-um, don't... mind at all. It's good to see you, bro." Eddie smiled.  "Always good to see you, Barry. Only thing, I only bought enough food for three.”

He turned his attention to his future father-in-law, who showed not one shred of regret. “It would have been nice to know that you were bringing a plus-one Joe."

Joe shrugged. "Slipped my mind, Eddie.

"I don't have to eat anything,' Barry offered. "Really."

"Nonsense. You're a guest in our house and we're...obviously happy to see you." Eddie cut his eye at Iris who was still smiling at Barry, unaware that he had been watching her.

"Besides," he added. "We have a fully stocked fridge. I can whip up something some potatoes and a nice salad to stretch the meal."

"Eddie, you've done enough. I'll make the sides dishes," Iris offered. " Why don't you, Dad and Barry go have a drink out on the patio? "

"Thank you, Iris,” Eddie said, relieved.

"Well, why don't you help her, Barry?" Joe suggested. "Since this extra fuss is over you, it's the least  you can do."

"Oh-um, Eddie,"  started, before Joe mentioned for Barry to join Iris.

"Um, Yeah-yeah. I can do that...Whatever you need.” 

_ "Whatever you need." _ His words were chaste, but Iris' thoughts that followed, were far from it. She could feel the blood rising to her cheeks, and she needed a moment to compose herself. She started to protest but was soon interrupted by Joe as well.

"And while they're cooking, we can catch up on the balcony, old-partner, “Joe added. ” See which police department is kicking the most metahuman ass, huh?! "

"Great," Eddie said, voice flat, as the two men headed for to the balcony. With the way Joe felt about him, he wasn't too sure that he wanted to stand on something, he could be thrown off of.

Meanwhile, Barry and Iris made their way to the kitchen. He kept a healthy distance from her, walking behind her, like he was afraid to get too close. Even so, she could smell his cologne on him, earthy and sweet--just like he was. It was the same cologne she'd bought his last birthday before he became The Flash.

“So uh, you want potato or salad duty, Barry?” Iris asked when they finally arrived, avoiding the big pink elephant in the room.   

“Um, salad is fine.”

“Salad it is.”

Iris opened up her stainless steel fridge and bent over to rummage in the fridge to find some veggies---a head of lettuce, a couple of tomatoes, spinach, cucumbers.

Her arms filled quickly, so she turned to hand them over to Barry so that she could find the brand new bottle of ranch dressing. When she looked up, Barry quickly averted his gaze from what she was sure had been her ass. Iris straightened up and pushed her hair behind her ears, trying hard to conceal her smile.  

“Umm..here’s the salad stuff, Barry. I’ll find the dressing then get started on the potatoes.”

“Sounds..good." His cheeks were tinged with embarrassment.

She peeled. He chopped. For minutes, the only sounds in the kitchen came from their knives and various kitchen appliances. Once the potatoes  , Iris needed to find a pot to boil them in. Barry was standing a couple of feet away at the counter, right over the cabinet that held her pots.

Iris kneeled down and tried to maneuver herself between him and the cabinet, but she couldn't wedge it out of the limited space.

"Umm, can you..scoot back a little."

Without losing contact with the knife or the cutting board, Barry scooted his leg back to allow Iris room to work. The pot’s handle got snagged inside of the door, and the force nearly knocked Iris over. 

Barry laughed, then bent down to help her up. She took his hand and allowed his strength to pull her up from the ground.

Barry looked like he wanted to speak, but just shook his head and smiled to himself. She Couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked. He had always been handsome--this she knew--but there was some different about him. Something that hadn't even been present when they kissed on the lake. Today, however, it couldn’t be missed. He also looked a little older, a little muted--his once bubbly personality, riddled with sadness, hidden as aloofness. But he felt everything--the awkwardness of meeting after two months in her and Eddie's home, after what they shared.  

"Thank you, Barry." She finally said. She’d lingered in front of him for a half second too long, then motioned backward towards the stove. "Um-um, time to boil my potatoes."

* * *

 

"So, this is a beautiful home you to have,” Barry eventually said when the silence got too loud.

"You like?

"I love it. Very modern. Eddie must be a trust fund baby or something?"

Iris playfully punched him in the arm out of impulse. "Barry-

"I'm-I'm just saying. Joe West has been working for nearly 30 years and can't afford a place like this. If Eddie doesn’t have a trust fund, he’s dirty-copping.".

Iris rolled her eyes and twirled the potato peeler in her hand. "If you must know, Eddie's grandmother left him a hefty inheritance when she died last year.”

“Oh," Barry snickered. "That must have made the funeral a littler easier.”

Iris gasped and clocked him in the arm with the potato peeler. “Barry Allen!”

“I’m-I’m sorry. I say really dumb things when I’m nervous.”

“Nervous? Why are you nervous?”

“Well, with how things ended with us, I didn’t know what your reaction would be to me showing up unannounced, which was your dad’s idea, by the way. He hates that we don’t speak anymore.”

Iris sighed. She’d hoped that Barry used Joe’s trip as an excuse to see her. She knew that it was a stretch, after the way things had ended with them, but she’d held out hope. Lord knows she’d been racking her brain to find an excuse to see him, but with her living an hour away, there was no plausible reason for her to bump into him, without it seeming glaringly obvious.

Barry noticed her pouty expression and sighed. “What could possibly be wrong?”

“I don’t know, I guess a part of me wanted YOU to hate that we don’t speak anymore…. Cause I sure do.

Her voice caught at her admission. She turned from Barry so that he couldn't see the tears welling up in her eyes. If he wasn't going to care that he'd hurt her, she damn sure wasn't going to break down in front of him.

“And I know that you were upset over the engagement, but--” she was near sobbing at this point.

Barry sighed and grabbed her shoulder  "Don't cry, Iris. Of course, I' hate that we don't speak. I hate it more than anything.”

Iris scoffed and spun around, out of his grip.

" You didn't even let me say goodbye. I thought I meant more to you than that."

"You mean the WORLD to me,"Without hesitating, Barry closed the distance between them and pressed his body right up to hers. Iris trembled from the sudden contact and willed herself not to look into his piercing green eyes.

It had been months since he’d held her this way, since they were so close that she could feel the familiar strum of his heartbeat, and nearly feel the scruff on his face. It reminded her of the nights in his apartment before Eddie shot himself; when they would hold each other in the dark, like teens figuring out this love thing for the first time. They were careful to not cross any lines too fast but acutely aware that their friendship hadn’t been the same since their kiss on the lake.

Barry took his hand and tenderly grazed it over her cheek, “Look at me, Iris."  Her name rolled off of his lips like it was the most beautiful word he'd ever spoken. He rested his index finger underneath her chin, gently lifting it, until their eyes met. He then slowly pushed a tendril of her hair away, so that nothing was obstructing his view of her. He lingered on her face, taking in her radiant beauty. "You've got to know that you've been on my mind every single day since I met you." He brought his other hand to her face, and gently cradled it. "But especially since we kissed, and told me how you felt."

He lowered his voice, "Then Once Eddie's accident happened, you tried to push it all under the rug, like it never happened. Then you sprang this moving crap on me. What was I supposed to do? Dance? Sing?"

Barry's eyes were ripe with pain, and he looked as if he might cry. Iris could feel the inside of her nose burning, signaling that tears were on the horizon for her as well.  She silently pleaded with him to not do this now. Not with Eddie just a few yards away.

Barry, too knew this wasn't the time or place for this conversation. After a brief moment to compose himself, he stepped away from her and continued preparing food in silent. 

Iris soon followed. Every now and then their eyes would meet---linger on the other for a moment, as a filler for the words they couldn't say, before looking away. Sometimes, Iris felt like he was looking through her like he could read the jumbled language of her emotions, even better than she could.

"I'm gonna kill my father." She did not appreciate having this thrust on her on such short notice. Iris had always been able to handle herself. Around anyone. Older men. Women. Even meta humans. But Barry Allen was making her all flustered. Barry Allen was making her confront feelings she’d long pushed deep into the pit of her stomach. How was she going to get through this entire dinner?

She let out a bated breath when the timer for the potatoes went off--anything to distract from the tension. She grabbed her oven mitts, and started to remove the heavy pot from the stove.

"What's taking so long, guys?" Eddie's sudden presence startled Iris so, she nearly dropped the hot pot of potatoes. Barry sped over to her and steadied her, preventing her from scalding herself.

"Whoa! Haven't seen that in a while, Barry.  Good catch, man!" Eddie walked over to Iris who was still holding the pot and rubbed a thoughtful hand up and down her back "You okay, baby??"

Iris shook her head. "Yes, Eddie. I'm okay."

"Good. Good," he kissed her on the lips, lingering there for a moment before breaking it.

Over Eddie’s shoulder, Iris could see Barry still cutting up vegetables for their salad. His knife aggressively made contact with the cutting board each time the knife came down.

"Eddie, Why don't you and,..um.. Barry set the table for me? I'll-umm--bring out the food shortly."

"Sounds good, Joe's not much of a conversationalist--not with me, anyway." Eddie turned to leave the kitchen. "Come on Barry."

With the two men away, Iris let out a long, hard sigh and rested her weight against the counter.

_ Joe West was gonna get it. _

_______________________________________________________________


End file.
